soundtrack...saturday evening edition

1) single ladies (put a ring on it)...beyonce

2) lover, you should have come over...jeff buckley

3) rehab...rihanna

4) liked you better before...little jackie

5) no surprises...radiohead

6) back to black...amy winehouse

7) american boy...estelle (featuring kanye west)

8) about a girl...the academy is...

9) i don't blame you...cat power

10) new shoes...paolo nutini

11) say you miss me...wilco

12) lonely...yeal naim

13) a gentleman caller...cursive

14) on the radio...regina spektor

15) wisemen...james blunt

soundtrack o' rancor

great news, sports fans! i've found my anger!

and in honor of crawling off the floor...

1. u +ur hand...pink
2. dialate...ani difranco
3. long way to happy...pink
4. tears dry on their own...amy winehouse
5. irreplaceable...beyonce
6. the rooster...big boi
7. a gentleman caller...cursive
8. let him fly...the dixie chicks
9. try (just a little bit harder)...janis joplin
10. lie to me...johnny lang
11. take a bow...madonna
12. ring the alarm...beyonce
13. something to remember...madonna
14. sweet revenge...the spooks
15. burn...usher
16. new soul...yael naim
17. maps...the yeah yeah yeahs
18. you were mine...the dixie chicks
19. who knew...pink
20. i'm still breathing...katy perry

and for extra emotional torture: come close...common feat. mary j. blige

it would be inaccurate for me to listen to this music and apply their stories to my own. there was no cheating in my relationship. there was no anger. until now. the feelings of abandonment, loss, and fear translate into the end of any relationship.

soundtrack..."musical" edition

i have always loved loved loved musical theatre. since i was a kid.

i stage managed many musicals through college and out in the "real" theatre world...they are my favorite type of theatre to watch, and to work on...

my favorite professor, who directed many of the musicals i worked on, would say that musicals are even better than "straight" theatre (non-musical), or even real life, because in a musical, when just speaking your mind or your emotions no longer can express the depths of what you're feeling, and just walking around the stage is not enough...you have to fucking dance...and you have to fucking sing...

i completely agree.

it's so powerful that it just BURSTS out of you in a song. there are few things that i would compare to the rush of belting (badly) a really powerful musical number, written to be raw with emotion. i wish real life could be a musical...

here is a list of some of my favorite songs from musicals. songs that, for me, burst out of me when what i'm feeling cannot be expressed without musical accompianment...

1. gimme gimme...thoroughly modern millie
2. i'll cover you (reprise)...rent
3. you should be loved...side show
4. new music...ragtime
5. sarah brown eyes...ragtime
6. i never wanted to love you...march of the falsettos
7. holding to the ground...falsettoland
8. what would i do?...falsettoland
9. not while i'm around...sweeney todd
10. climbing uphill...the last five years
11. stars and the moon...songs for a new world
12. any time...elegies
13. i'd give it all for you...songs for a new world
14. hitchhiking across america...infinnite joy
15. i can do better than that...the last five years
16. still hurting...the last five years
17. defying gravity...wicked
18. you can't stop the beat...hairspray
19. i'd rather be sailing...infinnite joy
20. without love...hairspray
21. make them hear you...ragtime
22. set those sails...infinnite joy

the albums/recordings listed here are my favorite versions of the songs. some of them come from original musicals, but were re-done in revues of the composer (in the case of William Finn's music that i have listed)...

let the music burst out of you sometimes...it feels fucking great.

playlist o' weeping...

I've been avoiding music for the past week (seriously, i almost freaked out at a store when etta james started with "at last")...but today I put a few songs on a playlist, hoping to jar a catharsis...

it's nothing new or too creative, but it's working for me...you'll notice that there are several artists that are repeated...these are artists that i have gone to many times over the years for soothing, balm-like relief for any sort of heartache...

1. i just don't think i'll ever get over you...colin hay
2. brightest...copeland
3. breathe me...sia
4. there cannot be a close second...copeland
5. lies...glen hansard and marketa irglova (from the "once" soundtrack)
6. look after you...the fray
7. that particular time...alanis morissette
8. goodbye my lover...james blunt
9. fidelity...regina spektor
10. hold on...sarah mclachlan
11. ordinary people...john legend
12. never is a promise...fiona apple
13. where does the good go?...tegan and sara
14. next lifetime...erykah badu
15. chasing pavements...adele
16. microphone preacher (i write your name on my thumb)...HYIM
17. romeo and juliet...dire straits
18. fear...sarah mclachlan
19. holes...ani difranco
20. my way home...citizen cope
21. when your mind's made up...glen hansard and marketa irglova (from the once soundtrack)
22. samson...regina spektor
23. this year's love...david gray
24. full of grace...sarah mclachlan
25. the entire soundtrack to "the last five years"...jason robert brown

#8 has really been on repeat. say what you want about james blunt, but dude knows how to croon about the end of a relationship with your best friend.

#13 seems especially appropriate right now. and a friend of mine listened to it over and over again when the love of his life left him.

#16 is one of the most beautiful songs i have ever heard in my entire life. it is, literally, poetry set to music. it is one of my favorite songs, and, ironically, it is one that he introduced me to.

some of them are indulgent, weepy, "chick" songs. eh. i'll take it.

i suggest that anyone who has ever been in love purchase the soundtracks to both "once" and "the last five years"...they are amazing.

enjoy. or, you know, sob uncontrollably on the treadmill at the gym. whatever works for you.

what do you listen to when the floor has fallen out from under your life?